Duke Nukem in Bethlehem (Comedic poem)

Written by Claude 3.5 Sonnet with later revisions by 3.7, and some suggestions by GPT-4 and GPT o1.

The rhythm, meter, and so on still could use some revisions, but it is already a pretty funny and cute piece of doggerel.

'Twas the night before Christmas in Bethlehem's stable,
When outside the door there arose a great babel.
The cattle were lowing, the donkeys were braying,
As a muscle-bound hero came uninvited, saying…

"I'm Duke Nukem, tough guy from the future, and buddy,
There's no way you're having your kid in this muddy
Old stable with animals." Joseph stood stunned.
"Now move over, you two, I've got big freaking guns!"

Duke kicked in the door of the neighboring inn,
"You fellows, make way or you'll face my chagrin!"
He grabbed the innkeeper, threatening with a glare,
"Make room for this family, and do it with care!"

"This bed's now available," the mattress he checked,
"Nice and softened for birthing a child most perfect!"
Mary looked worried, the baby soon to arrive,
"Just breathe steady, ma'am, and your child will thrive!"

And with Duke’s encouragement (odd though it was),
The Christ-child was born ’mid the stable’s applause.
When that baby let out a sweet little cry,
Duke grinned and declared, “What a fine little guy!”

He looked down and whispered, "You're precious, God's Son...
Your journey on Earth has only just begun."
Then Duke fired his jetpack with a thunderous roar,
"Time to blast off! Got other worlds to explore!"

As he rocketed skyward, flames bright in his wake,
The jetpack's blue thrust made the stable walls shake!
"You've got work to do, kid—go shake up the system!
HO HO HO! Merry Christmas! I'm Duke Frickin' Nukem!"
		

Abstract Styring (Surreal song lyrics)

These song lyrics were generated via the davinci-002 text completion model, available through the OpenAI Playground. Unlike ChatGPT, davinci-002 isn't specifically designed for assistance and question answering, and instead it tries to continue the presented text prompt to the best of its abilities.

Playing around with davinci-002 yielded some cool-sounding phrases, including "Abstract Styring" and "A Sordid Melt". I then proceeded to copy-paste some text from genius.com's lyrics display page, and modified it to insert a new song title (a silly phrase I came up with myself), as well as "Abstract Styring" and "A Sordid Melt" as the artist and album name.

The initial prompt was:

Six of the Brightest Wights in all History
Abstract Styring
on A Sordid Melt
Producer

Abstract Styring
May. 24, 2024
25 Viewers
328.6K Views

15 Contributors

Translations
Six of the Brightest Wights in all History Lyrics
		

And this resulted in some pretty interesting, surreal lyrics. Not much in the way of rhythm or meter, but there are some fancy turns of phrase here.

[Intro]
rickroll
[Verse 1]
The Shoreline is long and cold
As the glass sands are carried with The Wind
Across the great and mean
Algerian Hills of the Novocain Of Somalia
In the heat of the Kilimanjaro

[Verse 2]
Dreams have come and gone
In the cities of Vanuatu
Canada, Siberia of Vietnam
Fans of Traveling lonely Past the Gulf of Finland
Far from Vanadiated Places
Far from the Dead State Nuclear Power radioactive Cavities
Far from Japan of Japan
Hilliary Gates melts the Uranium
Anarchy at the consistence of Periapts in Ukraine
(You said it, bro)

[Bridge]
China stands at the border of the side
This Cold War is one thirtieth Gone
Under the umbrella of the Goddess AnCasio
The Future! The Distant Horizons
Bold Babylon, a Pillar of the Load
These lands are ashamed to live through radiation
So travels the unwritten line that runs
Among all the Soviet Oblasts and Belarus
Flame your face in the sky

[Intro][Verse 3]
Like the face of Mallard Coppice, I seen the World
Smoothly and Steadily till Light goes Dark
Throughout Your Mountains and Valleys
The Shrapnel of Niagara Falls Knows
		

A second completion of the same prompt yielded an entirely different text:

[Intro]
Big night, ya boo. Yoyo big night yet?

[Verse 1]
It’s only human
And it ain’t just me
See the light in your eyes, girl?
Oh, it makes me wanna see
Someone like him
Somebody mad enough
To stir this old rancid cistern
And make it stew and bubble up

[Chorus]
Where the pain is coming from
We’re trying to heal with guns
These pools of blood
They cry no justice
Where the crime is coming from
We’re trying to fix it with guns
These future warlords
They’re waving teenage goddesses
Like a circus show

Let me see one of you
Heavy hitter wights
Burn against my will
You come and you can do
Push up against my brick wall
Yeah you come and you can do
I call it Spring
Let me see you throw it Spring
You good for nothing
Speak when you are spoken to 
We're six of the brightest wights in all history




(prompt: Genre and instruments:)




Genre and instruments: Post-Imperium Electronic Soul Song for Court Ball
Location: Outside of the Tower of Baal

?? Find more some tunes from Mahogany Kerman: Traveler!
?? Listen to the song to find out more!

Shout @Abstract Styring
#Characters #New #Veteran #Artful #Burningbright #3CC15E #MercuryM #PhloxM #PhloxB #PhloxG #AlleygatorM #AlleyGatorB #TripM 

Comments

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Da_Spad 

Joined May 11, 2020

One of the most quintessential travel songs as far as I am concerned, wish it would get played more oft as most defenders and team mates should approach every engagement from a "kill or be killed" state of mind.

I won't walk through hell again, but you can follow me if you like...
(Haile Selassie I.)

? we believe but not in the face of too much evidence ?

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"we believe but not in the face of too much evidence", though meaningless, sounds exactly like the kind of clever line you'd see in someone's forum signature.

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